“WHAT PART OF ‘BE QUIET’ ARE YOU HAVING TROUBLE WITH?”
“Hey Man. You don’t have to shout!
“Oh Yeah?”
What do you think? The vast majority of books and teacher trainings tell us don’t shout. Shouting teaches shouting, not quiet compliance. That’s fine philosophy but there are times when it seems counterintuitive.
Back when I first started teaching, I was given a most excellent book called Teaching Children Self-Discipline At Home And At School by Thomas Gordon, Ph. D. (author of the best-selling Parent Effectiveness Training and Teacher Effectiveness Training). In it, Gordon ‘shows why traditional disciplining doesn’t work at home or in the classroom, and how to change children’s behavior effectively using skills of cooperation instead.’ I agreed with everything he said until I got in front of a classroom and I crash landed on Planet Reality. I still believe he is right. I just believe there is more to it that is missing from his books – that’s one reason why I write.
Here’s what happened:
At home I’d read, ‘…children will use self-control to follow rules when they have been given the chance to join with adults in deciding what those rules should be.’ Then the next morning I’d get a call to substitute teach at some troubled school and wham! Reality set in.
